CD Struggles Strongly With Starting Again

So uh... it's been a while??

Life's been a lot, blogging got hard to keep up with and then even when I started to want to again, I just couldn't start again. I always have struggled with starting again when I stop something. I wasn't journaling either when I really should've been and it was having it's effect. 

I got drunk at an end-of-semester party my best friend hosted and when I was walking my boyfriend to his place (he lives 5 min away, it was late afternoon, and I insisted) he very softly and casually mentioned that I was really closed off. I then proceeded to break down in his arms in the middle of the street while he consoled me until I had to run to catch my bus with some friends. He was very supportive the whole time and checked up on me a bunch, because he always is. It's kind of crazy how much I tried to runaway and sabotage a relationship with someone who keeps proving he loves every part of me as much as I love him but thats a conversation for another day.

After that I kind of realized I was bottling a lot more than I thought, so after a lot of rumination, reflection, and conversations with both my boyfriend and my best friend, I am journaling again AND blogging again. I always have been more closed off than I realized or most people do, but also its crazy how much my boyfriend both sees and understands me so he clocked it faster than anyone else has.

He's great and I will be annoying about how much I love and appreciate them. Sorry to my best friend, you're gonna get a lot of information that clashes further and further with his overly lighthearted jokey persona in hopefully the best ways.

This blog will probably become even more casual, and more focused on music like I originally intended. I put so much pressure to make a whole production out of this, I forget this is just so I have my own safe space on the internet. Who knows.

Anyways, I love all the people in my life. Rambling over. We are so back!!!

XO CD